Some Aphoristiſms Coined Upon Liſtening to The Wireleſs for the Duration of An Heſperian Noſtos

You know that you’re in France when even the Christian radio stations program not the Gospels, but an exploration of the role of electronic manipulation in contemporary classical music.  Also, because they’re in French.
To someone who doesn’t know anything about le foot, radio play-by-play commentary in French is nearly impenetrable; indeed, it can take quite a while to realize one is listening to sports commentary as opposed to the solipsistic yammering of a coven of bestial halfwit auctioneers.
My feelings of cultural isolation occasioned by not getting the jokes on a radio sketch-comedy show has been relieved by the realization that I don’t really want to listen to a station that broadcasts sketch comedy accompanied by an impossibly extravagant laugh track for twenty-four hours a day.
There is an exquisite pleasure in the way that - thanks to the similar vocal timbre of their pitchwomen – an advertisement for the first volume of Jacques Chirac’s memoirs (“from his adventurous youth all the way to Président de l’État!”) blends imperceptibly into a commercial for an over-the-counter haemorrhoid cream.